Healed by Christ During my NDE

 by Lorraine Tutmarc

When I was 22 years old, in the Spring of 1928, I was pregnant with my third child. Unfortunately I had a miscarriage and efforts to remove the tissue were unsuccessful. Peritonitis set in, causing blood poisoning. My condition rapidly deteriorated. Although I went to the hospital several times, they sent me home on each occasion saying there was nothing they could do. Antibiotics were not yet available. I can remember my doctor visiting our house at regular intervals, asking my husband in a voice that was unfortunately too loud, "Has she gone yet?" For about three months I had pain throughout my body, was almost too weak to move, couldn’t eat, and required intravenous feeding.

One morning I awoke and noticed almost a numb feeling from my head down. All the pain was gone. And then, slowly, I was rising from the bed. I felt an immediate, terrific sense of freedom, as though I’d just taken off a heavy coat. I was floating and euphoric with peace. But I can also remember asking myself, "How did I do this?" I looked down on my body which appeared to be sleeping. Nearby I saw the doctor, the nurse and my husband, who was sitting next to my bed. Then, from the upper corner of the room, I began to move backwards. I glanced at my physical body. It was the last thing I saw as I went through the wall.

I found myself in a region of total darkness up to my neck in water. My bodily pain, absent moments before, had returned. The water was very cold and moving around. I was quite panicky because I cannot swim. In my mind I asked, "Where am I?" In response I heard a loud, loving and beautiful voice, sounding almost as though it came from a megaphone, saying, "This is eternity! This is eternity! You are lost! You are lost!" In some way I knew that was God’s voice. "What is this?" I again asked in my mind. God’s reply was, "This is the river of death."

Struggling in the darkness I suddenly found myself being carried into the upper portions of a large whirlpool. I fought to keep my head above water, but gradually was drawn lower into the pool where the water was whirling more quickly. By the time I was sucked into the bottom of the pool I was completely exhausted. Emotionally, fear and hopelessness had drained me. So, as I was going underwater for what I was sure was the last time, I completely gave up! It was then that I saw light enter the water around me. The water turned warm.

I turned, looked up and there was Jesus, about four feet above me. I was staring at the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. The love I sensed coming from Him was beyond description. Light coming from Him lit up the entire area around me, but He was so wonderful to look at that I kept watching Him. His robe was pale ivory, with a red blotch in the chest area. His hair was auburn colored, shoulder length. But it was a look in those eyes that I could not turn away from, which I will not forget. They were large, full of meaning and kind. While loving, the gaze was also penetrating, a look that said that He knew everything I’d ever done, and everything I could ever do, both bad and good, and that no matter what, He would always be there. I could count on Him. His love would never fail.

I remember wondering about the red blotch on the robe, and the same deep loving voice I had heard earlier said that it represented the blood Jesus had shed for us on the cross. In the background I heard what sounded like millions of tiny bells whose sound had the purest tone. Throughout the rest of my near-death experience they were always detectable as a distant presence.

Then in a voice that was powerful and loving He said "Follow me." I answered, "Yes, I will." Instantly the water disappeared. He lowered His right hand and held my left. His hand was warm; then I felt the power of God moving through my body. And I’d never heard of the power of God! It was like sparks from smitten steel you could say, just coming right through my body, from my head to my toes, over and over again. As it came I grew stronger and stronger, until finally I thought, "I’m well! I have no more pain! This is real! This real!"

I rose so that I was next to Jesus. Although I was still holding His hand, He had turned and I followed His gaze. Both of us seemed to float toward a gold wall that stretched as far as the eye could see in either direction. Around us I felt a warm breeze carrying with it a scent of flowers. We stopped perhaps fifteen feet away. I noticed that the golden wall which was about nine feet high was transparent to a depth of about eight inches.

Around me it seemed like the dawn of a new day, as though it was about 5 a.m. From behind the wall I sensed activity. Things were happening. This was something felt rather than heard and I noticed it until the end of my NDE. I began to hear birds singing and chirping. As I listened to them for several minutes, their number and volume increased, then died away. String instruments then began to play enchantingly. Their volume and number also grew slowly, then disappeared. Finally, I heard a heavenly choir of the most beautiful harmonized voices singing in a minor key. They too grew in number, until hundreds of voices were apparent. I was captivated and drawn toward this realm. It seemed that the music spoke to me and welcomed me. I was still holding Jesus’ hand, but stepped toward the wall to search for a gate or door. None was apparent. I turned back to look at Jesus. He was gone.

I felt myself return into my body, going back the same way I had come. When I opened my eyes the doctor, nurse and my husband were around me. I exclaimed, "I’ve seen the Lord! I’ve been to heaven!" I repeated this and added, "I’m healed! I’m healed!" I can remember my husband staring at me and trying to restrain me. I was extremely hungry and insisted on eating something. Despite protests from the doctor, I eventually enjoyed my first meal of tea, toast and asparagus. I can remember the doctor saying, "I’ve always been an atheist, but now I’ve seen a miracle." Two weeks later I was painting the inside of my house. I never had a pain after that.

This experience was not one that I was searching for nor expecting; I hadn’t been to church since I was quite young, nor had I ever read the Bible. For me it was an intensely personal experience that went far beyond the boundaries of denominational religion. It also led to my awareness of God’s presence in the world and an insatiable hunger to read the Bible.

Occasionally, I find myself waking in the middle of the night and hear for a short period of time the sound of those bells I first heard during my near-death experience.

Editor’s note: Lorraine left this world several years ago, but while she was alive here she brought hope, love and inspiration into the lives of many.